Dhanidina!! - Gyrating Bhtch

I’m one cool mofo, I’ve got my step in stride
Got the Cameo codpiece on the outside
I’m chillin’ down the hallway with my man Pee Cee
So why ain’t people got no love for me?

Lemme tell you ‘bout a time way back in Aych Ess
When me and Pee Cee was in the chemistry class
Teacher readin’ off the names: Dubow and Paul Curtain
But then he gets to me--damn fool is uncertain!!

He said my first--Alif with an “I”
But then on my second: “I’m not even going to try”
Well, to cover my shame, I covered my jaw
And looked up at my homie, winked, and said “Paul”

See, I knew my man Paul, I knew he was smoove
And I knew that I could trust him to make the right move
He had it all down, he had the panacea
So he rose from his seat and yelled “Dhanidina”!

Curtain, Curtain, Curtain, Curtain, Curtain
Dhanidina!! (no love)
Curtain, Curtain, Curtain, Curtain, Curtain
Dhanidina!! (no love)

Fast forward five frames, and I’m in the northeast
The women were fly, but the weather was a beast
Now I was thinkin’ ‘bout my friends, and thinkin’ real hard
And I knew right then--I had to go to Bard

Now Bard is a college, that much you know
But I bet you weren’t aware that’s where the Doctor of Blow
Was studying and learning and doing his thing
From summer to the fall to the winter to the spring

Now the Blow Doctor, he’s a whiz with electronics
And I was feeling so down, I knew he’d be my tonic
So right after I had some wings at the Hooters
I headed straight off to the lab of computers

I got to the lab, and much to my sadness
Blow wasn’t there, in all of his badness
So I left him a note, and I kept it real brief
It read “Hey, Mark, what’s up? Your buddy, Alif.”

You can probably guess how that chapter was closed
Mark never did call--I was totally hosed!!
I was a wreck inside, it was a major-league bummer
But it probably would have helped if I’d left my number.