Calling In Fat - Gyrating Bhtch

Deadline looming and heads will roll
All the stress is taking its toll
People eating donuts and chili-cheese fries
All this crap is going to my thighs
Sugar upon sugar and then a little more
Getting so fat my waistline is sore

It's Bob in accounting's birthday today
Another slice of cake is coming my way
Sally the receptionist is having another baby
And Ed in I.T. just got over scabies
Any excuse to eat junk food
These fat asses are screwing with my mood

Out of vacation, weight inflation
I really have nothing more to say
I am taking a fat day!

Sitting at home with nothing to do
Price is Right is on the tube
Drew Cary lost so much weight
I bet he does not stay up late
He is half the size he used to be
Maybe breakfast will be healthy for me

Out of vacation, weight inflation
I really have nothing more to say
I am taking a fat day!

I look in the fridge and what do I see?
But sour milk and moldy cheese
Man this is crazy, I should have just gone to work
This day off is ruined; I am such a jerk
Will they care if I go in late?
Maybe I can still get some cake?