gyrating bhtch
Session:
Suddenly, and Without Warning |
Suddenly, and Without Warning (Part Two) |
Captain Flywheel Stageplay |
Merry Christmas, Bhtch |
Unstoppable Hose Truck |
Well, this morning as I was driving to work There was this minivan who kept trying to pass me Every time I'd get going, he'd drop down beside me and try to pass Then he'd almost hit a parked car, honk at me, and drop in behind me again This guy was really pissing me off So, I started going ten miles an hour next to this old lady next to me And he really got pissed off then He tried to go in the left turn lane to pass us both But there was a cop sitting there, so he had to turn left He was really not happy That was the last I ever saw of him Then, today on the way home from work This asshole in a goddamn Mercedes-Benz thought he owned the road He was driving right in the middle of the road No one could get around; he was going fifteen miles an hour And there were busses, cars, planes, trains... Everyone trying to pass him; no one could do it We just got really upset Luckily, he finally turned left and everyone was happy That only lasted a little while, though Because there was an accident at the corner of... I think it was Montrose and Western, but I'm not sure So, we all had to, like, go around this big accident in the middle of the street And that delayed us a long time So, I guess the moral of that story is if you have to drive on Chicago, don't drive on Western Because there's a bunch of dicks and people who can't drive Now, if you're going to drive into Chicago, I really really hope you don't use the expressways, either Because of all the construction, you just can't get anywhere It only goes ten miles an hour My answer: Damen There's a lot of stop signs, some of 'em are hard to see But Damen is a really nice street, very residential Speed limit's only twenty-five, but there are never any cops around So you can really go whatever you want It's a really nice place Now, if you don't like Damen because you're not going north-south, you're going east-west I'd suggest Montrose, Fullerton I mean, both of those are really good Fullerton isn't quite as good, because you've got the median cops directing traffic They're all over You've got to keep going, because you've got a green light And you're like "excuse me, can I go now?" The light's been green for five minutes So then the light turns yellow, the cop tells you to go And then only three cars get through the intersection I just think that this really just has to be changed Just kill the cops, or just tell them to stop directing traffic I mean, they really don't want to be out there You can tell because they're waving you through with their middle finger So, I think something really desperately needs to be done Now, back to Montrose, which is a better street Because there's no cops directing traffic But the problem with Montrose is that there's a lot of little cross streets With people trying to dart out in front of you If you're not paying attention, you can end up in an accident real easy Now, let's say you're not taking Montrose, and you're not taking Fullerton Because you're going north-south again And I already told you not to take Western or the expressways You know what's good? Lake Shore Drive Everyone's always talking about it... |
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song length: 00:04:47
song rating: 8.88